I have been leading something ever since I was in elementary school; whether it was the lead in the school play, captain of a sports team, parliamentarian of the honor society or the position that I have right now. I have always been a leader. While most times I was the right person for the task at hand, once in a while I discovered myself in a “leadership” position simply because I could speak the loudest and the fastest. That combination seemed to correspond with what others required in a person asked to fill a “leadership” role. Over the years I have learned that leadership is more then that, it includes taking responsibility for the results of decisions that your team makes. The good and the bad results!
Currently, I am the District Coordinator for youth and children’s pastors in my denomination, representing 155 churches in Southern California. I am tasked with developing leaders who will assist in educating, equipping, and empowering others to lead well. Six years ago, I learned something that has given me more opportunity to succeed in developing those leaders around me.
One Saturday, while watching my daughter play soccer, I observed a different way to lead…a more settled way. It was a confident, quiet, yet still communicative way…and I decided, right then, that I wanted to learn to lead that way. So began a process that continues today.
I noticed that my daughter’s soccer coach was not yelling at his team, for either encouragement or correction. He simply watched the game and smiled as they played to the best of their ability. When the half was over and the girls came off the field, he told them what a great job they were doing and how proud he was of them. I noticed that there were a few girls that he pulled aside individually and quietly spoke to, away from the group.
They played the rest of the game, they had fun, they won, they laughed, and they left.
I asked the coach for a few minutes of his time and presented him with one question.
I asked him “Why don’t you coach the team from the sidelines?” He gave me three tips I will always remember.
“I practice them twice a week, work our drills, give them individual attention, and prepare them to the best of my ability. When game time comes, and I’ve done all that I can, I let them play!”
“Secondly, in a group setting, I praise everyone on the team for their effort and thank them for doing their best. When I bring direction or correction to individuals, I always do it away from the group. I never correct or critique a person in front of others.”
“And…”
“I always speak positively about the team and individual players, to other coaches, parents, referees, and especially to their own teammates. It builds unity, mutual respect and produces an environment of trust that facilitates team spirit on and off the field.”
Wow! He rocked me that day and I have tried to implement these tips in every leadership position I have held since. I have seen firsthand how these principles, when applied correctly, will develop strong, confident, and well-respected leaders. Here are the principles in a nutshell:
- After developing, training, and equipping your leadership team…Let Them Play!
- Speak praise in public and correction in private.
- Speak positively about your team to anyone who will listen!
